Can Tiger Woods Still be a Role Model?
Editor's note: The following is a blog post by Adonal Foyle from the December 7 edition of the Orlando Sentinel. This season, he is a regular "Opinionator" for The Sentinel. You can read all of Adonal's posts by clicking here >

By Adonal Foyle

I have been unwilling to comment about the Tiger Woods situation because I believe it to be a private issue that is not any of our business. Before I begin, in the interest of full disclosure, please note that I have met and spoken to Tiger on numerous occasions. First let me be clear, I do not condone what Tiger did and this blog is not a defense of what he did. I aim to get at something more significant: can Tiger Woods still be considered a role model? Since Tiger Wood's late night driving fiasco, I have been asked many times whether or not he should be removed from the pedestal of role model status.

Kids always ask me who my role model was when I was younger. I am always afraid to engage in this discussion because of the simplistic view people have about role models. I worry because we see role models as perfect people, incapable of making mistakes. And, all too often, our society sees the acquisition of wealth as akin to moral authority. This is why we freaked out when Charles Barkley proclaimed to the world that he was not a role model. What Charles was trying to get to was, why would any child want him as a role model when you have single moms holding down two jobs simply to put food on their table, a grandmother opening her house to distressed kids, teachers going that extra mile with a student-in-need, and the list goes on. These are the kind of people Charles was telling us to look up to instead of someone who can throw a rubber ball in a hoop.

Now don't get me wrong, I love to be a role model for kids, but it is not my choice. Kids determine whether or not they want me as a role model. I do not choose them, they choose me. The only choice I have in the matter is determining what kind of role model I want to be - a good one or a bad one. What is most disturbing about society's view of role models is this issue of perfection. Athletes are not perfect, and nor is anyone else in our society. Let he who is without blame throw the first stone.

When I was a young man, my step-parents would ask about my role model. After I outlined their positive qualities, they would ask, what I think is a fundamental question to this debate, "and what don't you like about your role model?" This last question is so profound to me, then and now, because it made me see that it is possible to love someone and still be critical of them, or to admire someone despite their flaws. The all or nothing view of life may be suitable with respect to things but not people.

My point is that athletes have similar problems to those in our society who are moderately successful. They have to deal with families begging for money, questionable business investments, work-related injuries, a shrinking 401k, early retirement and, yes, infidelity. This is not to excuse the problem but simply to say that it is only in the sporting arena that athletes may be considered gods. When you choose to admire someone based on their athletic talent, then perhaps on the court is where your admiration should end. When the game is over they have to grapple with the problems of a day-to-day existence, and some issues may be handled with grace and integrity while others are handled miserably.

The way I pick a role model, is not by how perfect they are, but their ability to deal with imperfection and adversity and resolve them with integrity. There are great lessons to be learned from how a person reacts to their imperfection. The imperfect ones are those who we can learn from, even from their darkest side. The people who have been dragged through the dirt and the way that they overcome such adversity - they are who I think of as good role models.

We pray for perfection but live imperfect lives. If we were all perfect, what would we have to confess on Sunday? So in the end, let's take this opportunity to remind our kids that a role model is not always about being the model of perfection. Here is the fact: Tiger hurt his family. This is something he must deal with for a long time if they stay married. There will be trust issues and a whole lot of pain before they come to their respective places of acceptance. A year from now, or even in a few months, when our tempers have cooled, perhaps then we should look at how Tiger handled himself through this backlash of public admiration and media frenzy - how he is trying to protect his family and save his marriage, and use that as a lesson for our children and ourselves to learn.

- Adonal